7 lessons my job search has taught me about networking

Throughout my career in consulting and my MBA at Haas, I learned a lot about networking. I learned general things like the value of networking in business and career development.  I learned specific skills like when it is appropriate to follow up and how to make that follow up successful.  But my post-MBA job search provided a crash course in effective networking.  As a good networker, I want to share.  


Here are the 7 most important lessons that my job search has taught me about networking:

1. It's not like dating - I disagree with the experts that compare networking to dating.  Networking should be much less stressful than dating with much lower stakes.  A good networker only needs 5-15 minutes of a contact's time.  Time may be money and these are very busy people who are often doing you a favor but remember, you are looking for a connection, a lead or an idea.  You are not looking for a lifelong commitment or a million dollar investment. At most, you are looking for an opportunity to prove yourself.  Which brings me to the next lesson...
2. People want to help (if you prove to them you are qualified) - I have continually been surprised by strangers' willingness to open up their LinkedIn 'rolodexes' to help me and send requests on my behalf.  The key, I've found, is showing your contacts how qualified and competent you are.  People love to connect highly qualified people and appreciate when those people are referred to them.
3. You still need to ask for help - Getting some time to meet with your connection is only step 1.  Don't expect them to listen to your story and automatically know how to help you or even what help you need. Don't hesitate to suggest possible ways they could help you and end every meeting and follow up email with a summary of what they agreed to do to help you.
4. But don't expect them to do the work for you - No matter how helpful your connections wants to be, they are busy and do not know as well as you do what you need.  From coming prepared with a list of target companies and job titles to offering to compose drafts of the emails they offer to send out, it is your job to make it as easy as possible for them to help you.
5. People appreciate a "no thanks" - Some networking experts say that you should accept every networking opportunity and not limit yourself.  You never know where a connection will end up.  This adage may be true but in practice, it makes you look unfocused and ends up wasting your connection's time (as well as your own).  Don't assume that people will be offended by you politely saying that perhaps that contact would not be the right fit at the current time.  Nobody wants to waste the time of their colleagues and having some idea of who can help you shows professional maturity.
6. Check before you connect - A large portion of networking is finding out if you know anyone who can help your contact.  Be careful with this part.  As we learned in lesson 2, most people do genuinely like to help but they are busy. Sending a quick email to confirm that the person has the bandwidth for this connection (and setting the expectation with your contact that you will be doing so) is always greatly appreciated.
7. It's probably not too late to reconnect - When I began my job search, I assumed that if I had not spoken to someone in the past few months, it would seem odd to contact him or her.  I have contacted and been contacted by many people I worked with in consulting and volunteer work years ago.  People understand that life is busy and that even the best networkers fall out of touch.  So go ahead and reconnect, it probably isn't too late.

What lessons have you learned about networking through your job search?